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They can’t just avoid their anxiety or run away from their feelings.

Instead, they are overwhelmed by their reactions and often experience emotional storms.

Pseudo-independence is an illusion, as every human being needs connection.

Nevertheless, people with a dismissive avoidant attachment tend to lead more inward lives, both denying the importance of loved ones and detaching easily from them.

Their relationship tends to be honest, open and equal, with both people feeling independent, yet loving toward each other.

Securely attached couples don’t tend to engage in what my father, psychologist Robert Firestone, describes as a “Fantasy Bond,” an illusion of connection that provides a false sense of safety.

Phillip Shaver on “Secure and Insecure Love: An Attachment Perspective.”You can start to identify your own attachment style by getting to know the four patterns of attachment in adults and learning how they commonly affect couples in their relating.

Secure Attachment – Securely attached adults tend to be more satisfied in their relationships.


Even though anxiously attached individuals act desperate or insecure, more often than not, their behavior exacerbates their own fears.

They are often psychologically defended and have the ability to shut down emotionally.


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